


Hold On

by Blackbird7755



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 11:47:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbird7755/pseuds/Blackbird7755
Summary: Bobby and Athena both have news to share with one another....a call goes bad for Athena
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash
Comments: 21
Kudos: 19





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea came to me with all the talk of the second part of Season 4.....the ending is ambiguous and depending on the feed back I get I could see myself writing a second chapter/conclusion

Saturday Night 8 PM

Wow she thinks as she lays there. Who would have thought this would be how she ends her night. She wishes she had a better day if this was to be her last night, but at least she was still married to the love of her life. Bobby. She thinks. This was her fault, she had been distracted by what had taken place this morning and afternoon. Her mind and heart wasn’t on the job as it should have been. Instead it was on a particularly tall, muscular man with soft chocolate eyes you could just melt into. She had felt stunned when the suspect shot her, she had frisked him, could have sworn she got all the weapons off him, yet here she lay bleeding out and all she could think about was her husband.

“Sergeant Nash, I need you to stay with me” she hears them say above her but she is so tired. She needs him to know though- he has to know, and so she musters what strength she can as she grabs whoever is talking to her, “Bobby-“ she gasps, “I’m not Bobby, we’ll call your husband, he’ll meet us there”. She tightens her hold, “what is it Sergeant?” “tell Bobby that I love him, that I always have and always will, that-“ she has to pause as she starts to cough blood. “I don’t think you should talk-“ but she just holds tighter, he needs to know, “I will always be his, only his” and it feels right, she feels light and the hand grasping the officer loses strength and falls to the ground. She sees blinding white around her and her heart prays for her husband, like it did the day she first saw him as her eyes close. She hears someone yell above her, “where the fuck is that EMS team, we’re losing her,” she feels her lids getting heavy, “just hold on” is the last thing she hears before her eyes shut.

———-———-———-———-———-———-———  
Friday Night (The night before)

Athena was so excited, it was finally here. She looks down at the paper in her hand and she thinks about how she wants to share the news. She is not typically one to be romantic but a smile spreads across her face as a light bulb goes off. They have had a rough year she thinks, and she is all about reconnecting, no one knows her quite like her husband, though and she wants to show him just how much she appreciates him, just how much she needs him.

She goes to the station and Buck points her to his office. “Hey Babe” she smiles as she walks in. He looks so tired, she didn’t remember him being so weary. She walks over and places her hands on his shoulder where she starts to massage gently. Athena frowns as instead of feeling him relax, it seems he tenses further. She bites her lip as she lets go of her husband, “how can I help?” She asks and he just shakes his head. They sit in silence for a while before he asks, “what’s up?” He sees her eyes brighten, “do you work tomorrow?” She asks him lightly and he shakes his head, “do you?” She nods slightly, “night shift” she murmurs. “I wanted to do something with you, but it’s kind of an all day thing, would you be open to it?” She asks hopefully, and she smiles when he nods affirmatively. She kisses him lightly startling him, “you’re the greatest my love, have a good rest of your shift” she says. Bobby frowns watching her leave, he has no idea what’s gotten into her but he wonders if she had seen something she wasn’t supposed to. He can’t worry about it now he thinks as he goes back to work, this is his main focus.

Athena spend the whole rest of her afternoon making phone calls and solidifying plans. She smiles as she feels like tomorrow is going to hold something life changing for them. Little did she know how right she would be.

———-———-———-———-———-———-———  
Saturday Morning (the morning of)

Athena is up and making Bobby ‘s favorite breakfast food. When he ambles into the kitchen she hands him a piping hot cup of coffee before kissing him on the cheek. Bobby frowns but he takes the mug and settles. “I have a lot planned for us” she says excitedly. He frowns, “what are you talking about?” and she bites her lip, “you said you were free today” she murmurs. “I guess I didn’t realize when you said all day you meant all day” he sighs. Athena is quickly changing plans in her mind. “Can you give me 11-3?” She asks, so what if he can’t do the whole day, she can get the highlights in she thinks. Her eyes widen as she realizes he really doesn’t want to do this. 

When did this happen she thinks, when did they stop doing their weekly Date nights, or stop being able to know what the other was thinking by just a glance. She felt her heart ache as she discreetly watched the man she loved, the one she would die for, sit stoically across from her, but he felt millions of miles away. “Fine” he finally agrees and she nods while she goes to notify people of the changes.

11 AM

“Athena, where are we?“ Of all the places she would take him, he can’t understand why she would bring him to this shithole he thinks. “You don’t recognize it at all?” She says with a slight giggle, and he shakes his head. “Ok, you stand here” She plants him firmly, “I’ll do a little reenactment” she says with a smile before she leaves. When she returns she appears much more serious, “LAPD I’m Sergeant Grant, got a call about a stabbing, unknown assailant” she says while Bobby’s eyes get wide and he looks around, “seriously!?” he chuckles as he realizes this is the place he first laid eyes on his wife. A wide smile is on his face as he let’s himself remember. She scrunches up her nose, “I know it may be wrong,” she confesses lightly, “but I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on you.” She tells him, “you were so confident, and tall” She chuckles. “I was so distracted, no one had made me feel like that in a long time and I was angry”. She sees Bobby’s confusion, “I was angry because I didn’t know it was possible to feel everything you made me feel in just one look, I was angry that you weren’t mine and that at that time I belonged to someone else” she frowned slightly before smiling again. “I thought about you a lot after that night and when I would let myself be really vulnerable I prayed for you” she confesses. “And here you are, completely mine” She whispers as she kisses him gently Bobby returns the kiss but he doesn’t deepen it, he hears her sigh slightly before pulling away. “You hungry?” She asks and he nods.

12 PM

Bobby watches as Athena walks him to a specific table and they sit. He doesn’t understand why she is being so weird as he looks around. He sees confusion in her eyes. “Um, they’ve been through a couple of owner changes and minor redecorations” she bites her lip. These places felt important to her, but Bobby, who is usually the sentimentalist hasn’t been able to recognize a single place and she feels her heart squeezes. When she says that Bobby looks around, he really looks, “is this where I brought you for our first date?” he makes the connection as he sees her smile and a little of her stress leave her body while she nods.

As they eat she talks. “I was so nervous getting ready that night. When you asked me to dinner I wasn’t sure if you meant a date date but I hoped. I think I would have died of embarrassment had I been to overdressed.” She nibbles on her lip again as a small smile plays at her lips. Bobby feels his emotions rise and fall as he looks at the beautiful woman before him. “I was a bundle of nerves, walking towards you” and she sighs, “but you, God, I looked at you and all my insecurities vanished, you seemed so confident and I realized I could do anything with you by my side” she feels her eyes mist as she blinks rapidly, “not to mention you look damn fine in a suite” she says to lighten the mood. He is looking at her thoughtfully, “why did you never tell me?” he is genuinely curious and he watches her frown a little, “I don’t know” she tells him honestly as she walks through her thoughts, “I feel like I have these expectations all the time, I’m supposed to be strong” she tries to explain. 

“And you are always so strong” she continues, he feels his eyes widen, “for your team, for your past, for our family” she explains. “We’ve been through so much together, I didn’t want you to feel another burden, I wanted us to be able to carry things together, so we could make it lighter” she doesn’t know if she is explaining it right. “But you didn’t let us carry it together, you shut me out” he tells her taking her slightly aback. “I shut you out for some of it, because I had to process it myself before I could process it with you” she nods. He scoffs, “you mean so you could tell us what was happening, instead of us deciding together?” “I didn’t realize that’s how you felt” she whispers and her eyes hold a sadness to them he wasn’t expecting. 

“How could you not?” he is genuinely curious how she doesn’t see this. She blinks several times, “when did you ever tell me” she whispers which takes him aback. “Well I told you-“ and he stops and frowns. When did he ever tell her how he was feeling. They used to argue a lot about how she was feeling, what he thought she should do, how he could support her. “I know what happened to me impacted us as a couple” She finds her voice, “but I thought we were getting through this, I thought we were finding our own path, together”. He nods because he’s not sure what to say. She clears her throat, “I have two other places I’d like to take you if you feel up for it?” She asks and he consents.

Athena is quite as she drives. This day isn’t going how she expected at all but possibly the way it needed to, she thinks. She had thought they were back on solid ground, the way she felt about him hadn’t changed, if anything it intensified. He was her first thought in the morning, what pushed her through her day. He was the best part of her day, it didn’t matter if she saw him on a call, visited the station, no matter how shit her day was she knew she was coming home to him, and that made everything alright. She is realizing she doesn’t tell him this enough because in her stupid mind he already knew. 

2 PM

“Why are we outside my old apartment?” he asks and she smiles, at least he remembers this place. “This is where we shared our first kiss” she tells him. He shakes his head, as she gets out of the car and he follows but she indicated she doesn’t want him to move. “Babe, we kissed in the parking lot before I almost ravaged you and you went home”. She shiver at the memory, “what an epic first kiss that was, I probably would have let you take me right here” she frowns, “no this isn’t right” she says before she spins them and leans against the car, “there-“ she says with a smile, “I definitely would not have stopped you had you ravaged me, good thing you’ve got better self control then me” she murmurs. Bobby looks around and realizes she is right, this is where they had their first kiss.

Bobby is speechless and so he does the only thing his brain can think to do- he leans down and kisses her. Much like that first kiss it starts off cautious, as if he is unsure how she will receive it. Bobby feels her sigh and he steps into her, his hands find her waist and he lifts her up before pinning her to the car. She presses her body to his as she wraps her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He tugs on her lower lip and she responds immediately. God Athena loves her husband, she would give him whatever he wanted just to keep him happy, and he feels so good just like this pressed against her, claiming her completely for the world to see, she didn’t care how intense their passion became or who saw, it was just her and Bobby. She lets out a moan that he captures as he grinds against her, “ah Bobby” she whispers and it seems to break the spell as he is gently putting her down and stepping away. She feels his loss instantaneously, “we should go” he whispers and all Athena can do is nod. She doesn’t understand what is going on, but she hopes he will share his thoughts and she doesn’t know why her heart feels like it’s breaking.

3 PM

Bobby’s eyes widen as she parks at the Church. “Last stop” she murmurs. This date didn’t go as she planned and she wasn’t sure this would be the right way to tell him but she hoped it might be. “Can we go in together?” She asks hopefully and he nods. They go in, they each light candles for the ones they’ve lost and he finds them at their pew. He logically knows it’s not theirs but it feels like it. He had asked her to come, all those years ago, and she had, they shared their hearts and he took a chance and she said yes. Again he feels his heart constrict as he prays. “Athena, I think we are lost” he tells her finally. She looks at him scared but lets him continue, “I think we got lost the night you were attacked, and we got more lost a little every day since” he frowns at her silence, “do you agree?” She clears her throat, “whenever I feel lost I know it’s okay” she says which makes him frown more, “because I always know I have you, you are my map, you are my guide, my husband” she tells him quietly.

“It hasn’t felt like that recently,” he tells her, “I don’t know when I stopped being able to tell you when things felt so wrong” Athena bites her lip as she feels responsible. She should have known he wasn’t okay and when she reaches for him he shifts away causing her heart to feel things she never felt before. She finds herself praying for him, just like she did the first time they sat together. “I always wanted to believe you were mine” Bobby continues, “but I don’t know if you ever really were”. Athena feels like she is getting crushed, slowly, as if a car door is closing on her body. “Did you plan today because you saw the letters?” he asks her suddenly. And she frowns, confusion evident on her face, “letters?” She asks. “Oh” she didn’t know Bobby realizes that now- and now he has to tell her, “nothing is set in stone but I have been getting letters from attorneys” he tells her and she still doesn’t get it, “did something happen at the fire station?” she asks, “what can I do to help?” and he chuckles at the fierceness in her voice. “no Athena” he tells her quietly, “divorce attorney’s” he tells her. “I haven’t done anything yet but I needed to know my options and I thought you might have seen one”. Athena is deadly quiet so he finally takes a chance to look at her.

She is clutching an envelope of her own and it he gets confused as he sees it start to get wet with drops of water. He looks around trying to find the leak before he realizes she is crying. The water he thought was a leak are her tears falling from her face. She tries to take a deep breath, “you want a divorce?” She asks her voice breaking. “No” he says and cringes, “I mean, yes- no, Gah maybe!” He feels torn, “I don’t know- I told you I was looking at our options, and I love you so much, I need you, but I don’t think you feel the same way.” She goes to say something but he interrupts, “I don’t want to argue, I just need some time” he says. 

Athena nods and she stands. She gives him the car keys and he frowns, “I have to work tonight” her voice comes out soft and broken, “take the car, I’ll take the bus or an Uber” she says. “I don’t want to argue” she says, “but there are others things before divorce. We could go to counseling, it helped me when I needed it” and Bobby rolls his eyes remembering how she stopped going without telling him. It pains her but she pushes through, “I love and need you Bobby, I’m sorry I’ve been doing a lousy job of showing or telling you that. I’m never going to not love or need you- I know it might not be fair for me to ask this of you, but hold on please, hold onto our love”. 

She hesitates as she clutches the envelope. “What?” he sighs. “This isn’t me trying to make you feel bad, this is why I wanted to take you out today” and more tears fall, “I don’t want it to change your mind or make you feel guilty, it just is” she murmurs as she lays it next to him by the car keys, “if you feel like reading it great, if not, that’s fine too, I get it” she whispers. “I love you Bobby” she says but he just nods and then she is gone.

———-———-———-———-———-———-———  
Saturday Night 5 PM

Athena thought she knew what heartbreak was when Emmett had died but what she was feeling now was so much worse. She hadn’t realized things had gotten so off course for the two of them and she hated that she was at a place that there was literally nothing she could do. She dressed in her uniform and she straightened her name tag as it brought a brief smile to her lips- it was the first time she got to wear it officially since all the paperwork had finally gone through. She leaves a sticky note on his pillow, it had been a while since she had left him a love note, but she pours herself into what this small piece of paper will hold and ends with an “I love you! Always & Forever yours Athena Nash”.

———-———-———-———-———-———-———  
Saturday Night 6 PM

Bobby has no idea how long he sits in their pew. When he looks up he sees it’s gotten dark out. He stands but then he sees the envelope and it piques his interest. “I don’t want it to change your mind or make you feel guilty, it just is”, her voice echos in his mind as he furrows his brow, “...this is why I wanted to take you out today” and he is curious he can’t help it, the envelope seems small and light, how could something so light make her want to take a stroll down memory lane? he questions. There are two pieces of paper inside, the first is a letter, he scans through it and he is not sure he is fully comprehending what he is reading. The second clearly didn’t come with the envelope but she had wanted to share it none the less. This one is a letter from her job.

Bobby sits down with a whoosh. Well I’ll be damned he thinks, she did it, she actually did it. He feels his heart constrict as he realizes she wanted to surprise him, and that’s what today was about, to celebrate, to celebrate them, and he had told her he didn’t think they could be a them anymore. Bobby holds the documents showing that his wife loved him, cared, recognized him, she had confirmation through all her documents that she was no longer Athena Grant but Athena Nash, she even changed it at work. This, this meant the world, he thinks. She did this on her own, to show him that she loved him, and she wanted the world to know, this changed things he thought, it gave him hope. Shit, he thinks suddenly. When she left she told him she loved him but he hasn’t said it back to her- well hopefully when she gets off shift they can talk more and he can tell her then he thinks as he gets up to head home.

Bobby walks to their room wondering if she may still be there, but it’s clear she has left for the night. He goes to lay down and he frowns when he feels the corner of a paper jab into his face. He finds the note and he brings it to his face. Her script is beautiful, much like herself, he thinks. 

‘Bobby, you are the best part of my day, yesterday, today, tomorrow- forever. I don’t know why I never thought to tell you and I’m sorry. It takes two, my love, for everything we do. We’ve lost that part of us, but I am confident we can find it again- together! No matter what happens I want you to know that I need you and my heart belongs to only you. I love you! Always & Forever yours Athena Nash”.

He feels her words deep in his heart and he can’t wait until she is off shift so they can start to make things right between themselves again. With her note clutched in his hand he drifts off to sleep.

———-———-———-———-———-———-———  
Saturday Night 7:30 PM

“Freeze, LAPD” She shouts at the gunman. Several officers have their guns pointed on him as does Athena. “Catch me” he says, before he is suddenly scaling a wall and is gone. Athena and several officers give foot chase. As Athena runs she can’t help but think of Bobby. She wonders if he read the envelope contents or seen her note.

The officers run down an alley and corner the gunman. Athena takes the risk and tackles him. She is able to disarm him and then she drags him up and has him face the wall while the other officers surround them. “I’m going to frisk you, is there anything that will harm me?” she asks and he shakes his head. Athena finds several weapons on him. “Watch him” she tells another officer as she goes to bag the evidence she had pulled off of him. She hears a scuffle behind her and she sees the suspect almost get away, “hey” she calls out and she is not sure why he stops but he does. It all happens so quickly, “I know you don’t want to hurt anyone” she says confidently before he is turning around telling her she is wrong. The shot rings out and then multiple more as she watches the suspect go down. “Sergeant Nash” she hears her name being called but it sounds like a dull roar as she feels tired and like her legs can’t hold her up anymore.

Wow she thinks as she lays there. Who would have thought this would be how she ends her night.


End file.
